I love puzzles! All kinds of puzzles! I love jigsaw puzzles, word puzzles, number puzzles, all puzzles. I used to get excited in math class when we got to do logic puzzles. You know, the grids where you had to figure out which of five people had which of five pets and went to which of five restaurants from a list of clues. Don't remember or have no idea what I am talking about? Check them out here. Try one, have your kids try one. You will have fun, I promise. Anyway, as I have gotten older, I have found that life is full of puzzles and some are more fun than others.
I am studying to be a school psychologist. If you don't know what a school psychologist does, we do evaluations for special education determination, provide school based psychological services, and implement interventions to improve student outcomes. We have a lot of roles, but that covers the basics. When a student is referred for evaluation, it becomes my job to solve the puzzle of why they are struggling and what we can do to help them be successful. Is the student failing all her classes because she just doesn't care or because she doesn't understand or because she can't see the board or because she doesn't speak good English? I think that is part of the reason I love school psychology. I love solving the puzzles!
There are also puzzles in parenthood. Caedmon has gone through many stages where his behavior changed in some way and we were trying to solve the puzzle as to why. For example, he was an extremely fussy and challenging eater and we discovered it was because he was eating too much. He has been screaming when we try to put him down for a nap in the evening and it seems to be because he doesn't really need that nap anymore. It is constantly a game of puzzles. Some puzzles we still haven't solved, such as why he spits up so much and why some nights he sleeps really well while others he is a hot mess. Some we will never solve. That is hard for me to handle. The reality that I won't be able to solve the puzzle. I don't like to leave a puzzle unfinished.
In both my career and my life there will be puzzles that I can not solve. It is a learning process to be able to let go and accept that fact. Some puzzles have to remain undone, or half done, or almost finished and that has to be good enough. So do a logic puzzle and remember that sometimes it is okay to not know the answer.
*UPDATE* I am down to 172lbs. That is 3lbs lost since my last post. Slow progress, but progress none the less. I look forward to continuing to reclaim my health and remain accountable.
I want to re-name my blog. The first title was just too long, I am not sure about what I changed it to now. I am going to think of some options and put up a pole next week to try to find a name that really fits my purpose and my personality.
February 21, 2013
February 12, 2013
The Parent I Want to Be
Lately, I have been really thinking about the parent that I want to be. I have had some great role models. Women that I watch parent with love, patience, calm, and respect. That is the kind of parent I want to be and I have been thinking a lot about what that looks like.
Being in graduate school means that I have a lot to do all the time. There is literally always something I should or could be working on. The first step toward being the parent I want to be is to be present with my child for at least some time, every day. There is always something I should be doing: reading, writing, researching, laundry, report writing, protocol scoring, cleaning... the list goes on and on. I feel like everyone has a list. I am trying to, at least once a day, put away the list and be truly present with Caedmon. Right now, that is after I pick him up from daycare each day. We come home, have some oatmeal and play. I want him to be able to count on that time with me. I also try to keep my weekends as sacred, where I have no agenda; however, that isn't always possible. He needs time when he has my undivided attention, so I make sure to give that to him as much as I can.
Another way I have been working on becoming the parent I want to be is by controlling my emotions, or at least attempting to. Caedmon deserves a mom that can stay calm and be caring and compassionate rather than upset and frustrated. Even at the grand old age of almost 5 months, he can be extremely frustrating at times. When I am trying to get us out the door and he is screaming in his carseat. When it is 4am and he is awake for the umpteenth time. When he spit up all over me for the sixth time that day. When he sticks his foot in the poop and then tries to stick it in his mouth. You know, the usual. I have quickly discovered that my default reaction to frustrating circumstances is...frustration. Not surprising; however, I am working to change the default. I want to be able to stay calm with my children and that starts now. I try to remember that he is a baby and doesn't do things deliberately to annoy me. At least not yet. And even when he does, I want my response to be love, not frustration. Don't get me wrong, I think it is just fine to admit to being frustrated with our kids; however, that is not the reaction I want them to see. I don't have this one down yet, but I am working on it.
The other main way I am striving to become the parent I want to be is to have healthy habits and be healthy. I feel like healthy habits start at home and I want my children to see me as healthy and happy and to pick up on those habits. This is what I have struggled with the most. While I was pregnant, I reverted to some pretty unhealthy habits in the name of being pregnant. I have always been a soda addict, but I was doing better at curbing it, but once I was pregnant and limiting my caffeine, tea was no longer an option for a lunch or dinner beverage. I started getting caffeine free sodas when I got tired of water, which was always. I have never been much of a water drinker. Then we got a Soda Stream for Christmas so now I can make my own soda for a fraction of the cost and have it waiting for me in the refrigerator all the time. I am trying to curb the soda habit again. I am trying to have the discipline to make carbonated water and juice drinks with the Soda Stream instead of sugary soda. Portion control is another big one for me. I adopted the "I can eat as much as I want because I am pregnant" philosophy which was only reinforced by my midwife's constant praise of my perfect weight gain record. The consequence was my stomach stretching and now when I try to cut my portions back to a healthy size, I feel hungry all day. I am working to start reclaiming my health after being pregnant. I want to be back to a healthy weight and back to healthy habits, but this is going to take more work than anything else. One way to motivate myself is some accountability and transparency, so I am going to take anyone who reads this along for the ride back to health.
Before I got pregnant with Caedmon, I weighed 155lbs. I felt that I could use to lose about 10 pounds at that point, so my goal was 145lbs. At 9 months pregnant, I weighed 185lbs. I gained 30lbs over the course of my pregnancy. Immediately after delivery, I dropped to 170lbs, but then after the holidays, I was back up to 175lbs. I would like to at least get back to 155lbs, but ideally, 145lbs, which would be an ideal weight for my height and build. That is a weight loss goal of 20-30lbs. I am not going to set a time limit, I just want to lose it, so with every blog update, I will give an update on my journey toward reclaiming my health as well, that way, I am being held accountable by wanting to give a good report.
That is the parent I want to be. What kind of parent do you want to be?
Being in graduate school means that I have a lot to do all the time. There is literally always something I should or could be working on. The first step toward being the parent I want to be is to be present with my child for at least some time, every day. There is always something I should be doing: reading, writing, researching, laundry, report writing, protocol scoring, cleaning... the list goes on and on. I feel like everyone has a list. I am trying to, at least once a day, put away the list and be truly present with Caedmon. Right now, that is after I pick him up from daycare each day. We come home, have some oatmeal and play. I want him to be able to count on that time with me. I also try to keep my weekends as sacred, where I have no agenda; however, that isn't always possible. He needs time when he has my undivided attention, so I make sure to give that to him as much as I can.
Another way I have been working on becoming the parent I want to be is by controlling my emotions, or at least attempting to. Caedmon deserves a mom that can stay calm and be caring and compassionate rather than upset and frustrated. Even at the grand old age of almost 5 months, he can be extremely frustrating at times. When I am trying to get us out the door and he is screaming in his carseat. When it is 4am and he is awake for the umpteenth time. When he spit up all over me for the sixth time that day. When he sticks his foot in the poop and then tries to stick it in his mouth. You know, the usual. I have quickly discovered that my default reaction to frustrating circumstances is...frustration. Not surprising; however, I am working to change the default. I want to be able to stay calm with my children and that starts now. I try to remember that he is a baby and doesn't do things deliberately to annoy me. At least not yet. And even when he does, I want my response to be love, not frustration. Don't get me wrong, I think it is just fine to admit to being frustrated with our kids; however, that is not the reaction I want them to see. I don't have this one down yet, but I am working on it.
The other main way I am striving to become the parent I want to be is to have healthy habits and be healthy. I feel like healthy habits start at home and I want my children to see me as healthy and happy and to pick up on those habits. This is what I have struggled with the most. While I was pregnant, I reverted to some pretty unhealthy habits in the name of being pregnant. I have always been a soda addict, but I was doing better at curbing it, but once I was pregnant and limiting my caffeine, tea was no longer an option for a lunch or dinner beverage. I started getting caffeine free sodas when I got tired of water, which was always. I have never been much of a water drinker. Then we got a Soda Stream for Christmas so now I can make my own soda for a fraction of the cost and have it waiting for me in the refrigerator all the time. I am trying to curb the soda habit again. I am trying to have the discipline to make carbonated water and juice drinks with the Soda Stream instead of sugary soda. Portion control is another big one for me. I adopted the "I can eat as much as I want because I am pregnant" philosophy which was only reinforced by my midwife's constant praise of my perfect weight gain record. The consequence was my stomach stretching and now when I try to cut my portions back to a healthy size, I feel hungry all day. I am working to start reclaiming my health after being pregnant. I want to be back to a healthy weight and back to healthy habits, but this is going to take more work than anything else. One way to motivate myself is some accountability and transparency, so I am going to take anyone who reads this along for the ride back to health.
Before I got pregnant with Caedmon, I weighed 155lbs. I felt that I could use to lose about 10 pounds at that point, so my goal was 145lbs. At 9 months pregnant, I weighed 185lbs. I gained 30lbs over the course of my pregnancy. Immediately after delivery, I dropped to 170lbs, but then after the holidays, I was back up to 175lbs. I would like to at least get back to 155lbs, but ideally, 145lbs, which would be an ideal weight for my height and build. That is a weight loss goal of 20-30lbs. I am not going to set a time limit, I just want to lose it, so with every blog update, I will give an update on my journey toward reclaiming my health as well, that way, I am being held accountable by wanting to give a good report.
That is the parent I want to be. What kind of parent do you want to be?
February 6, 2013
Here goes nothing...
So, I have thought about starting a blog many times over the last year. I used to write all the time. Now I write papers, but I never write "for me" anymore. Plus, some of the coolest people I know have blogs! I am talking about you Kate at Osito, Carrie at Quite Carried Away, and my favorite baking blog Bakingdom. These Moms have inspired me to share my stories, passions, and life with the world (or at least some friend) via the internet.
As the title suggests, I am busy. I am a full time grad student working on getting my PhD in School Psychology at the University Kentuck, a wife, and a mommy to a wonderful 4.5 month old, Caedmon. When I get a moment to myself, I bake cupcakes, read, or knit. I want to share all of this with you! Knitting projects, recipes, book reviews, and general stories and life lessons I learn while trying to juggle life.
My first goal is to publish a post once a week. I think that is a good start and realistic for my life. I hope you read and enjoy, but if you don't, at least I am writing again and I think that will be good for my soul.
Here goes nothing...
As the title suggests, I am busy. I am a full time grad student working on getting my PhD in School Psychology at the University Kentuck, a wife, and a mommy to a wonderful 4.5 month old, Caedmon. When I get a moment to myself, I bake cupcakes, read, or knit. I want to share all of this with you! Knitting projects, recipes, book reviews, and general stories and life lessons I learn while trying to juggle life.
My first goal is to publish a post once a week. I think that is a good start and realistic for my life. I hope you read and enjoy, but if you don't, at least I am writing again and I think that will be good for my soul.
Here goes nothing...
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