Disney Planning - Part 3: All Things Dining

Nothing really compares to dining at Disney World.  The food is both amazing and plentiful.  But, like so many this at Disney, to get the most out of the experience, you need to do some planning.  If you are just joining me on this adventure, be sure to check out my post on pre-planning here.  You can also check out my post on having a Disney planning meeting with everyone going here.  As you approach the 180 days (6 months) mark from your trip, the next step is to make Advanced Dining Reservations or ADRs.  If you choose to stay on-sight, you can make these reservations 180 days before the day you check-in and make them for up to 10 days of your trip.  If you are staying off-sight, you can make them 180 days before the date on which you are making the reservation.  This is yet another perk of staying on-sight.  You can begin making reservations at 6:00am eastern time on that date online and at 7:00am eastern by phone.  Here are some of my answers to questions I hear frequently.

Who Needs a Dining Reservation?

If you would like to eat sit-down meals, you need dining reservations.  By sit-down meals, I am referring to meals where someone takes your order at a table and brings you food.  You can certainly sit down and stand-up meals, now called quick service.  The difference is ordering at a counter versus a more traditional restaurant.  Don't get me wrong, you can get some super delicious quick service meals at Disney; however, if you really want to experience the best of what Disney dining has to offer, schedule some table service meals.  If you are using the Disney Dining Plan, you will probably want to schedule one per day.  You get a lot of food.  I would not advise putting table service meals back to back.  The exception would be if you choose a meal that cost 2 credits, such as Cinderella's Royal Table or one of the dinner shows.  In that case, you would likely have a day without a table service meal.  Regardless, if you want to sit down for dinner, make Advanced Dining Reservations.

How do I decide where to eat so early?

I know that in real life we don't decide where we are eating 6 months from now, but in the world of Disney it is essential.  You don't just walk into a sit-down restaurant and Disney and expect to get a table without a reservation.  Even for a small group it is rare and for a large party like ours...forget about it.  Start with what parks you are visiting on which days.  You can waste a lot of time park hopping just for a dining reservation.  Your best bet is to schedule your sit-down meal that the park you will be visiting that day.  Consult the Disney calenders to see if there are Extra Magic Hours that may influence when you visit each park and decide on an order.  Once you have that, you can start choosing restaurants.

There are a lot of choices for dining at Disney.  Consider what is important to you and what kind of eaters your group is.  Even if our group splits up during the day, we like to eat sit-down meals together.  It is a great way to catch up if we have not been together all day.  Make sure you choose places that everyone will enjoy.  Menus for all the restaurants are available on the Disney website.  For us, we are traveling with a toddler who will eat pretty much anything, a tween who is super picky and a couple of adults who would fall in the moderately picky category as well.  We are also all character fanatics, so we are always looking for places to dine with our favorites.

Where is the best place to eat?

This is a loaded question.  There are so many options.  They are pretty much all delicious.  How do you possibly choose?  You can read a dozen blogs like mine and find a dozen different reviews and answers.  Below I will discuss each restaurant we choose and why.  I will also talk about a few that we have done in the past, but choose to forgo this time and why.  Hopefully it helps narrow it down for you.

O'Hana at the Polynesian Resort:  This is one of our favorites.  You can go for breakfast and dine with Lilo and Stitch, but we prefer dinner.  Dinner includes all the meat you can eat cooked in a fire oven at the center of the restaurant, plus super yummy sides.  We like to start a vacation here on our check-in day when we usually don't go to a park.  Get checked into your hotel, hop on the monorail and take it all the way around and then get off at the Polynesian.  You get some great glimpses of Disney from the monorail and a great meal.  This is a can't miss place!

Crystal Palace:  This little gem of a buffet is in the Magic Kingdom right off of Main Street USA.  If you eat here for dinner, you can dine with Winnie the Pooh and gang.  The atmosphere is nice and the place is huge!  The buffet is pretty good and can leave even the pickiest eater satisfied.  Plus, a buffet means that my little man can eat for free since he is under 3.  We have eaten here every trip and always love it.  Even my step-sister, who has been serenaded by a particularly funny waiter here consents to returning.  The Winnie the Pooh characters are soft and cuddly too.  All in all, it is just fun.

Coral Reef:  I have read many mixed reviews on this place, but after eating here for the first time on our last trip, we decided to do it again.  The food is good and the dessert is great!  I will never forget the little piece of chocolate mousse heaven I ate here.  The atmosphere is pretty cool too with a giant wall taken up by aquarium at the Living Seas in EPCOT.  Last time we visited, a giant sea turtle was swimming right next to the glass.  It was awesome.  My little guy love aquariums and fish, so I think he will be enchanted.  There are no characters here, but you can try to spot Nemo and his friends through the glass!

Hollywood and Vine:  Nestled within Hollywood Studios, this one is new to us this trip.  Since, I have not eaten here, I cannot vouch for the food, but we are going for the characters.  At breakfast, you can dine with some Disney Junior favorites like Jake and the Neverland Pirates, Doc McStuffins, Handy Manny, and Sophia the First.  Since we are traveling with a tiny Neverland Pirate, this is a stop just for him.  Luckily, everyone we are traveling with loves him like we do and are willing to have breakfast with his pals. 

T-Rex:  T-Rex is located at Downtown Disney and is a similar experience to Rainforest Cafe.  You are immersed in the prehistoric world of dinosaurs with giant animitronic dinos and scenery all around.  We have done Rainforest Cafe on a number of occasions and decided to change it up and give T-Rex a try.  Plus, little man has a thing for dinos.

Sanaa:  Some of the more adventurous eaters in our group are super excited about this stop at Animal Kingdom resort.  It is one of the newer restaurant at Disney.  It is supposed to be a South African restaurant, but the menu has many options for pickier eaters too.  The husband and I are also super excited about the wine collection, which is boasted as the largest collections of South African wines outside of South Africa.

Chef Mickey's:  Located at the Contemporary resort, it is one of Disney's classics.  You can enjoy breakfast with Mickey and Pals while the monorail zooms by overhead.  Again, this one is new to us, but we are excited to finally give it a try.

Other notables from previous trips:

50's Prime Time Cafe:  This little place at Hollywood Studios will provide your family with stories and laughter for years to come.  Last time we ate here was over 10 years ago and we still talk about it.  The food is delicious comfort food, but the real treat is the staff.  You are whisked back in time to the 1950's at Mom's house.  Your waitress will act as your mother, encouraging you to eat your veggies even if they have to airplane them into your mouth, standing you in the corner for not asking to be excused before leaving the table, etc.  It is truly a hoot!  However, once we had done it once, we decided to try other things.

Teppan Ido:  This is a Hibachi style restaurant in the Japan pavilion in EPCOT.  It is delicious and the chef's put on a great show, cooking your food on a giant flat top right at your table.  We LOVED it and would have done it again, except that the toddler had a major melt down last time we went to a restaurant like this at home and we decided it might be the wisest choice this trip.

Tuskar House:  A great character meal in Animal Kingdom and a delicious buffet.  We ate here for lunch on our last trip and felt that it was the best buffet we had during the whole trip.  You can meet the classic Mickey characters here too, making it a fun stop at animal kingdom. 

Garden Grill:  Situated in The Land pavilion in EPCOT, this place used to be a must do for us.  The restaurant rotates through various agriculture scenes and you are visited by Mickey and friends decked out in farmer attire.  The food is served family style and our first few trips left us very satisfied, the last couple of times we were unimpressed with the food and decided not to return this time.

Wolfgang Puck's:  This is a bonus pick.  It is at Downtown Disney and the Husband and I ate here last time we went.  We ate in the downstairs area which is a little less upscale; however, we had some super delicious sushi, one of our favorites.  It is yummy, but not super kid friendly.

We have always traveled with boys, so princesses have not been a top priority.  However, if you are seeking a princess dining experience, your choices are Cinderella's Royal Table in Magic Kingdom (which will cost you 2 table service credits per person) or Akershus Royal Banquet Hall in EPCOT (which only costs one credit).  We have not done them, but heard good things about both.

Do I Need Reservations for Every Meal?

You do not need reservations for quick service meals.  It might be helpful to have an idea of where you want to eat ahead of time for planning purposes, but you can decide on the fly.  The only exception is if you would like to eat at the new Be Our Guest restaurant in Magic Kingdom.  Be Our Guest offers a quick service lunch and recently began allowing guests to make Advanced Dining Reservations for this experience.  The line can get lengthy so a reservation would be recommended here.

Good luck on making your dining reservations.  Remember to have some back-up options picked in case you get in the middle of making reservations and find one of your choices unavailable.  If a reservation is not available for dinner, try lunch.  Make sure you pay attention to when characters are available though.  Some restaurants only offer character dining at specific meals.  Next up, I will talk about how we are preparing our toddler for the trip.  See you then!


  

Disney Planning Part 2 - The Big Meeting

I said after Christmas, but this is a little longer than I planned between posts.  However, since we are snowed in and cabin fever is setting in hard, I figured it was time for an update.  In my last post I discussed pre-planning leading up to a big family meeting to get the ball rolling on a large, multifamily trip to Disney World.  To recap in case you are just joining me on this adventure, we are planning a trip to Walt Disney World for my family of 3 (husband, toddler, and myself) along with extended family adding up to a total of 9 people.  If you would like to read my post about pre-planning and getting the process started, you can do so here. 

So, in that post I mentioned that a big step to planning a trip with a large group is to have a planning meeting with everyone who is going on the trip.  It is important to make sure everyone is on the same page.  Here are 5 things you need to make sure you cover in this meeting:

1: Choose travel dates and a resort/hotel.
If you have not already done so, choose dates for traveling.  Make sure the time works for everyone in the group.  For our family that meant going when school was not in session.  We were also taking into consideration a big move and job hunting.

You also need to choose a resort or hotel.  Your first question should be, are we staying on-site?  Meaning, will you be looking into Disney resorts or nearby hotel options.  There are many great lists of pros and cons to staying on-site versus off-site floating around the internet.  As for my family, we have decided that on-site is the way to go.  We gave off-site a try one year and did not enjoy the experience as much.  Here are the main reasons to stay on-sight:

• Travel Time:  When we stayed off-sight it took us a large amount of time to get to and from the parks each day.  That 2 hours or more is invaluable at Disney and we would prefer not to spend it in the car.
• Experience:  When you stay on-sight at Disney, you never have to leave the magic.  The hotels and resorts are immersive experiences in and of themselves.  Plus, nothing beats a wake-up call from the Mouse himself or one of his delightful friends.
• Value:  Most people think staying on-sight will be considerably more expensive.  It may not be.  Look at the Value Resorts and the cost of splitting a Villa and compare it to the nearby options.  But, don't forget to take into account the extra gas you will need to drive back and forth everyday (and idle in traffic), the cost of parking at Disney which is considerable (but complementary to resort guests, and the lost time.

 If you decide that on-site is the way to go, find out what resorts everyone is interested in.  The main ones we considered where Art of Animation, Pop Century, and the Treehouse Villas at Saratoga Springs.  Break out your calculator and do the math.  Decide what is the best value and will accommodate your family the best.  I outlined the pros and cons of these resorts on the previous post if you want more details.  We decided on the Treehouse Villa because it was not much more expensive per person, offered a very cool experience to everyone, and gave us a great lay-out for sleeping and toddler naps.

2: Discuss Dining Reservations.
If you are new to Disney planning, this may sound crazy.  The thing is, at Disney, the best dining experiences require what is affectionately known as an Advanced Dining Reservation (or ADR).  If you stay on-site, you can make these reservations 180 days before your check-in date and for up to 10 days into your trip (another perk!)  If you are staying off-site, you can make them 180 days in advance of each day, meaning you need to make one a day for the length of your trip.

When you begin to discuss dining, you must first decide if you are interested in a dining plan.  Disney offers the option to essentially pay for your food up front with a variety of dining plans.  There are 3 classifications of food at Disney when it comes to Dining Plans.  Table service meals are sit-down meals at a restaurant.  Character meals fall into this category.  Quick service meals could also be described as counter service.  You order food, you pick up food, you find a table.  Snacks can be anything from a Latte to a cookie to a Mickey Bar.  The three most popular dining plans to choose from are:

• Quick Service Dining Plan:  This plan will get you 2 quick service meals and a snack per day.  It also includes a mug that you can refill for free at your resort. 
• Disney Dining Plan:  This plan will get you one table service meal, one quick service meal, and a snack per day.  It also includes the resort mug.
• Deluxe Dining Plan:  This plan includes 3 meals (quick service or table service, your choice) and 2 snacks per day.  It also includes the resort mug.

The right plan for you depends entirely on your budget and your preference for meals.  The food at Disney is amazing.  Way better than typical theme park food.  Even quick service meals can be quite delightful if you go to the right places.  But, if you are interested in character meals or any of the sit-down restaurants, I find that the Disney Dining Plan is a great option.  I like paying for my food up front.  Then I don't have to budget for it when we leave.  It also leaves me free to choose whatever I want at the restaurants guilt free.  For example, on our last trip we ate at the Japan Pavilion.  I was able to order the Filet Mignon instead of the Chicken, because I had already paid the same amount either way.  We have never had a need for the Deluxe Plan because frankly, that is a lot of food.  However, if you were interested in some of the dining experiences requiring 2 points, then it may be a good option.  You can explore the plans more on the Disney website.  

So, we picked the Disney Dining Plan.  Note if you are traveling with toddlers: children under 3 are not eligible for their own plan.  They can eat for free at buffets and share with adults at other meals, but will not have their own set of meals.  Next we had to decide what meals we wanted to book in advance.  We needed one table service meal per day.  We knew a few places we for sure wanted and a few we did not feel like we needed to do again.  I will write a whole post about dining at Disney, but for now, just know that you need to pick them early.  Designate someone to make all the reservations, set a calendar reminder on 180 days out at 6:00 and may the odds be ever in your favor.

3: Discuss money.
This is especially important.  You need to talk numbers.  Not rounded hypothetical numbers, but real numbers.  Put you information into the vacation reservation tool on the Disney website and find out exactly how much it will cost.  Divide it by the number of people going.  Each person in your group needs to know exactly what it will cost them to do this trip.  Calculate how much needs to be saved per week or per month.  Make sure everyone has a plan.  When you go with a large group, especially if you are on the same reservation or sharing an accommodation, someone backing out could be the difference between going and not going.  You need to make sure everyone is all in and is sure they can do it.  You also need a $200 deposit per reservation.  For us, we all booked on one reservation, so that was only $25 per person.  Collect it before making the reservation.  Once the reservation is made, make sure everyone has the confirmation number so they can make payments.  No one has to be the broker.

4: Discuss other experiences and what your must-sees are.
For us, we are looking at a day at Universal Studios.  We looked up the cost of tickets and spent some time discussing who would be interested in going.  There are many things to do and see in the Orlando area, so if your family is interested, now in the time to talk about it, especially if it means budgeting extra money (see number 3).  Also start talking about what your priorities are at Disney.  Do you just have to ride Space Mountain or Tower of Terror?  Is there are character you are dying to meet?  Maybe you really want to play a round of miniature golf or bowl a couple of games at Splitsville.  Reservations for these things don't need to be made, but it is good to know what everyone is thinking as it gets closer to your trip.

5: Watch the Vacation DVD.
Okay.  I know this seems corny, but hear me out.  Watching the Disney vacation video has become a tradition for our family when we start to make plans for a trip.  It helps build the excitement plus it can give good information on new attractions that may have opened or are coming up.  You can order one for free from the Disney website or you can watch it on Youtube.  Either way, it is actually quite fun.

So that is it.  The main things you need to talk about at your meeting.  The next step is to make the reservation and anxiously await your 180 day mark to make you Advanced Dining Reservations.  More on dining next.  

Disney Planning - Part 1: Pre-Planning

Okay.  I know that title sounds crazy.  You are saying to yourself, "Elizabeth, are writing about planning to make a plan?"  And the answer is, yes.  This series of blog posts is going to serve as a walk through of my process for planning a multi-family trip to Disney World.  To give you some background, we are planning a trip to Disney World at the end of July 2015 with my Dad and step-family.  There will be 9 people going total.  Of those 9, 7 are adults, one kid will be 10 and my kiddo will be 2 (almost 3, which is important later).  If that sounds anywhere close to your family trip or even if it does not, this series is for you.  Going to Disney World is a big trip and quite frankly takes a lot of planning.  So, put on your Type A hat and join the ride.

So a big part of planning a multi-family trip is that you all have to get together to, well, plan.  For us this is taking place at our Christmas gathering, which is about 7 months out from our trip.  You want to have this planning session more than 6 months out from your trip because at the 6 month mark you can make dining reservations, so you want to know where you want to eat prior to that date.  To help this meeting to be the most productive, I have taken some time to pre-plan (you know, planning to make a plan).  I have highlighted things that are important for my family to do and see.  I have picked some of our top restaurant picks and scoped out different resorts.  That way, I already have some ideas of what may work or not when we get together. 

This is my first trip to Disney as a parent.  My sweet little toddler has no idea of what wonders await him.  But, I will warn you, I am learning how to do Disney as a parent as I go.  I will update you on what I learn as I go.  I am no Disney novice though.  I have been several times as a teen/adult and I am glad I have some experience to pull from when planning a trip for my little family.  The first thing I started researching was what options we have for resorts.  My child historically does best in hotel situations when he has a separate sleeping space from us.  Also, if someone has to take little man back to the hotel for a nap or early bedtime, I didn't want them to have to sit in a dark, quiet room while he sleeps.  With this in mind, I found three pretty good options:

Disney's Art of Animation Resort:  This is the newest resort and I am intrigued by the theming.  It is a value resort so it falls in the lower price bracket.  The sections are themed for The Little Mermaid, Finding Nemo, Cars, and The Lion King.  I happen to live with a pretty big Nemo fan (2 if you count my husband), so the adorable rooms and huge Nemo pool seemed very exciting.  This resort also has family suits in 3 of the 4 sections that sleep up to 6 people.

• Pros: Exciting themes, very nice pool, suit style allows for a separate sleeping space for at least napping.
• Cons: The suits and regular rooms are not close together, the suit would be crowded, and my little dude would have to share a bed with someone.  

Pop Century Resort:  We have stayed here before and quite frankly, it may be the best resort for your money if you want a traditional hotel room layout.  We really liked the resort and the cafeteria style dining area cannot be beat.  The resort has some fun themes and still has a large pool and some fun icons around the grounds to explore.  The sections are decades, but everything is pretty close together so you can see anything on the grounds even if you are not in the decade of your choice.

• Pros:  Most cost effective, great cafeteria and food, and the privacy of our own room with just our little family.
• Cons:  We have stayed here so it would not be new, no separate sleeping space, and it is pretty far from the parks especially if you are using the Disney transportation.

Treehouse Villas at Saratoga Springs:  Okay, this is my top pick right now.  These are just too cool.  The houses are elevated 10 feet giving the feeling of being in a treehouse.  All around is green and wooded areas.  The 2 bedroom villas sleep 9 (perfect, right?).  We could all stay together in what feels much more like a house than a hotel.  One of the rooms has bunk beds, perfect for cousins! Saratoga Springs also has fantastic pools with water slides and whirlpools.  There is also a full service spa if you are into that.  Splitting the cost of a villa turns out to be very near the cost of either of the other options.  Plus, did I say they are treehouses?

• Pros:  They are treehouses (cool factor), we can all stay together, separate sleeping areas, and amenities of an upper level resort without the extra cost.
• Cons:  Slightly (maybe 100 bucks) more per person in overall cost, no cute character theme, and we all have to stay together.

Let me clarify that last con.  Going on a multi-family trip is great.  I will write a whole post about why I love going to Disney like this.  But, depending on your family dynamics, a week of never getting away from each other might not sound so fun.  Gage that before committing to sharing sleeping space.  Also, everyone has to be 100 percent committed when you make the reservation.  We have had trips where someone has planned on going, but was unable to afford it come time to make the payments or had to back out for some other reason.  If you calculate your cost based on splitting a room like the treehouse 8 ways and 1 person backs out, everyone else's cost goes up.  These are things to discuss at the meeting with everyone.

Now I have some picks for resorts so I moved on to looking into restaurants.  It is not as important to research your quick-service meals at this time.  You really only have to nail down your sit-down meals ahead of time.  Since we are traveling with a small child, character meals are a must.  We decided that the character breakfast at Hollywood and Vine in Hollywood Studios was a must for our family.  This meal features the Disney Junior characters like Doc McStuffins, Jake and the Neverland Pirates, and Sophia the First.  If you have a child under the age of 5, you must do this.  Another top pick for us was Coral Reef which is located in the Seas pavilion in EPCOT.  There are not any characters here, but you eat with a view of a huge aquarium full of all sorts of wonderful creatures.  Plus, the food is delicious.  T-Rex at Downtown Disney also made our list despite not having characters because of the immersive dinosaur theming for my dino-loving little dude.  Finally, Crystal Palace in Magic Kingdom is a delicious buffet with the adorable characters of Winnie the Poo.  We have also considered Chef Mickey's but it requiring 2 dining points may prevent that from being an option this time.

Finally, I spent some time researching the ins and outs of traveling to Disney with a toddler.  I have made a list of rides he will be too short to ride (not many) and highlighted what I would consider are the most important rides and attractions for us to see at each park.  The bottom line is, it is virtually impossible to see everything in a week at Disney so you have to prioritize.  Some of the interesting logistical things I found about taking a 2 year old to Disney are:

• Children under 3 are free at Disney (yay!)  There are implications to this.  My little guy will get a magic band, but he will not get a dining plan.  He can eat for free at buffets, but will have to share or we will need to purchase him a meal at any other meals.  
• Since he is under 3 and does not have a park ticket, he cannot do the Pirate dress up activity (the boy counterpart to the Bippity Boppity Boutique).  
• He will not have his own FastPass+ reservations, but as long as he is with an adult with a reservation, he can tag along.
• There are wonderful Baby Care Centers in all the parks that offer much more than rocking chairs and changing tables.  There are also little tables and chairs with coloring books and toddler sized potties.  These may be a lifesaver when we have a hot and overstimulated toddler on our hands.  

Some great places to look when pre-planning is of course the Disney website.  Also, check out the Mom's Panel on the Disney website.  I learned more about the ins and outs of taking a toddler to Disney from this Q&A page than anywhere else.  Look for other blogs too (other than this one) on Facebook and Pinterest.  Nothing is more helpful than hearing other people's first hand experience.

So, happy pre-planning!  Look for an update after Christmas detailing the ins and outs of the big family planning session.     

Why I Hate MLMs... Even when I love their products.

Since moving to Kentucky three years ago, I feel like I have been noticing the growing number of MLMs (Multi-level Marketing).  In case you are unfamiliar with the term, some examples include Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Thirty-One, Avon, etc.  It seems that now there is an MLM for almost everything.  Before moving I knew a handful of people that participated in the big ones like Mary Kay or Pampered Chef, but since moving, it seems like every other post on Facebook or person I know seems to be a rep/consultant/distributor/whatever for some company.  I believe MLMs appeal mostly to families with one parent that stays home.  I have also found them popular among families with a parent in school, since they can provide additional income.  However, I am not interested in buying into the MLM model, even when I love their products.  My most recent experience with this paradigm has been with Essential Oils.  I was introduced to Essential Oils a few months ago by a dear friend and really have enjoyed using them and learning more about them.  We, as a family, try to stay as natural as possible and Essential Oils seemed to be a good fit for us.  However, the company that I was introduced to is an MLM.  Young Living (as well as it's counterpart, DoTerra) serve as the big players in the essential oils market and are both MLMs.  So, I am going to use Young Living as my example as I go through the reasons I hate MLMs.  Most if not all of these reasons apply to all MLMs, regardless of the product or business structure.

1:  MLMs pass on a significant amount of unnecessary cost to the consumer.

 You know all those great rewards and discounts that top sellers get in MLMs?  Guess who pays for them!  All of us!  That's right, every person who purchases a product from a company that is an MLM is paying higher prices than necessary to cover the cost of rewards and discounts for the top people.  Think about it this way:  Through Young Living, if you reach the rank of silver in six months, you get an Aroma Complete kit for free.  Now, I don't really know what it takes to reach that rank as far as how many people under you, but I do know that Aroma Complete kits retail for well over $1,000.  I also know of at least five people that hit that rank last month in my tiny network alone, not to mention the whole company.  That means that the company is giving away thousands upon thousands of dollars in product every month.  Someone is paying for it, and here's the kicker, it's you.

2:  MLMs seem to brainwash their distributors and create biased reviews.

Okay, that may sound harsh, but here is what I mean.  Have you ever met anyone who sells some sort of MLM product that is not totally in love with the product and feels that it can be the only product of any quality on the market.  They all seem to also think that their company offers the highest integrity, has the best leaders, and the best business model.  Now, I understand brand loyalty.  I buy the same brand underwear because I like the way they fit, but that doesn't mean that I believe everyone should buy my brand of underwear or that my brand of underwear are the only brand that will really get the job done or that the company that makes my brand of underwear is the only company that makes quality underwear.  See how silly that would be?  However, that is what MLM distributors seem to be like.  I am going to continue using Essential Oils as the example.  Every Young Living Distributor I know will tell you that Young Living is the only company making 100% pure therapeutic grade essential oils.  Unfortunately, that is not true.  The bottom line is that both Young Living and DoTerra use the same methods for growing and extracting their essential oils.  After all, DoTerra was started by people who left Young Living.  But aside from the big MLMs, there are a handful of regular companies making 100% pure therapeutic grade essential oils using the same methods and plants.  It seems that since these companies cannot remain competitive through cost (see above), they gain customers by claiming that they are the biggest and the best and the only product worth having.  But, when your livelihood relies on getting others to like a product enough to sell it, you may have to bend the truth a bit. 

3:  MLMs can create tax burdens that distributors are not prepared for.

Disclaimer:  I am no accountant.  But, my husband had his own business for the first couple years of our marriage.  I saw through him the tax burden that having a personal business can create.  Everything from commission to bonuses to prizes to merchandise kept in stock can have an effect on your taxes at the end of the year.  That is the main reason I would never want to make money from an MLM.  Our taxes are complicated enough thank you very much.  My fear is that distributors are not educated on proper record keeping and tax issues and are left open to potentially high tax bills or audits.  No one that has ever talked with me about selling any product for an MLM has ever talked about taxes.  Not one.  That is frightening.

4:  MLMs are all win for the company.

It seems that everyone participating in MLMs feels that they are getting a great deal.  They talk about all the rewards and discounts and great products, but the bottom line is, the real winners are the owners and other top ranking officials of these companies.  Essentially, these companies are able to spread a product without a single store, marketing campaign, or distribution deals with stores.  They create armies of die hard sellers and distributors that do all the ground work.  Are the heart, they are pyramid schemes and the top of the pyramid wins big.

There you have it, the big four.  The four reasons I hate MLMs.  The downside is, sometimes I do love their products.  I do really enjoy Young Living oils.  I also have a pretty great Thirty-One lunch box and bag that I like quite a bit.  But, I would much rather purchase these products at closer to actual retail cost and not feel like I have to decide who is my better friend for who I order through.  I also do not appreciate companies that automatically sign you up as a distributor just for buying their product.  But that may only apply to a handful of these companies. 

The Rule of Averages: My Take on Body Image

I don't normally write or talk about body image issues because I really try not to waste too much energy on it, but let's face it, I am a female in America so I have thought about it.  Lately I have been thinking about why we seem to have such an issue with body image in the good old U.S. of A.  I was watching a show on Netflix from Australia (Dance Academy if you are curious) and noticed that despite all of the main characters being ballerinas, they did not seem excessively skin
ny to me.  It made me wonder why body image, like many things, seems to be so much more of a problem in this country.  Being a fan of statistics, I had to try to find some good old numbers to back me up.  Here they are:

Both the United States and Australia have similar rates of eating disorders at around 9% of the population.  My idea that America was way ahead in this race was wrong, but does not change my perception of the problem, only widens the scope to a global issue.

Some more unsettling statistics for the United States include:

This is me in 7th Grade (Looking Confident, right?)

• 42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner
• 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat
• Of American, elementary school girls who read magazines, 69% say that the pictures influence their concept of the ideal body shape. 47% say the pictures make them want to lose weight

The idea that such young children are already struggling with body image is so very unsettling and makes me wonder what all contributes.  There is tons of research on the influence of media, toys, beauty pageants. and peers.  I do wonder though, are we really considering everything?  Would changing beauty images really make a difference or are there other subtle things that influence our children to think about and worry about weight.

I am going to get a little vulnerable and I want to apologize to my family up front.  Know that I love you all and this is not an attack nor am I blaming you fro anything.  I was always a skinny kid.  I grew tall really young and was always pretty thin.  Among my family members, I was somewhat unique.  Like many families in the U.S., most of family would be classified as overweight.  When I was young, I remember thinking that I did not want to grow up to be overweight like my family.  I was going to beat genetics and stay a thin girl forever.  I have never wanted to be the thinnest or to look like a super model, I just didn't want to have to have the struggles I saw my mother have.  Struggles to find a swimsuit that looked okay or to find pants that fit well.  As I got older, several members of my family were diagnosed with Type II diabetes.  I hardened my resolve to beat genetics and not have to cut sugars and carbs and feel the need to turn to artificial sweeteners to avoid a bland diet.  I never knew who I wanted to look like, but I knew who I didn't. 

When I got pregnant with my son, I weighed about ten pounds more than I really wanted to, but I had been half-heartedly trying to loose those ten pounds for years, so it wasn't the end of the world.  I again made my resolve.  I had seen women gain fifty to eighty pounds during a pregnancy and enter Mommyhood with a completely different body than they had.  I didn't know who I wanted to be, but I knew who I didn't want to be.  After my little was born, I lost half of what I gained.  The other half has hung around.  So be it.  I do wonder, though, if blaming the super skinny models and celebrities isn't the whole issue.  Maybe we need to be blaming the idea that overweight people are somehow less than, or someone you don't want to be.  We have been spending so much time fighting obesity that we may be scaring young children into body image issues.  Young children may not always want to be Miss America, but they also don't want to be The Biggest Loser.

The bottom line is, I am average sized for an American woman.  In 2010, the average woman was 5'4" and weighed 165 ponds.  I am little taller and a little heavier than that so I figure I am in the ballpark.  But sometimes I still get comments like, "You don't look like you weight that much?" or "These pants are a 10, they would fit you right?"  Some people may find people thinking they are thinner they are to be a good thing, but to me it says that my actual weight or actual pants size is not okay or not average.

We seem to have lost a sense of what average is in this country.  I was recently struck by baby clothing sizes.  This may be a stretch, but stick with me.  My son has always been on the small size when it comes to percentiles, usually hovering between the 10th and 20th percentile for weight and the 20th and 30th for length.  Remember, these percentiles are based on the sizes of babies across the entire country.  But, throughout his life, he has progressed through infant clothing sizes right on time.  He moved up to 3 month clothes when he was 3 months old, 6 months at 6 months and now that he is almost 18 months he is just transitioning into 18 month clothing.  So, if he is on the small side, why are infant clothing sizes seemingly perfect for him?  Can we really be sending a message that smaller is more "right" at such a young age?  I here other parents say how "huge" their baby is when their 6 month old is wearing 12 month clothes, but the bottom line is, that even infant clothing is set up to skew our idea of average.

Maybe if we embraced average we could loosen the grip of poor body image from our young people.  Little girls should not need to feel like they should be thinner at the age of six.  Are we telling average girls that they are above average?  Are we scaring them with our anti-obesity campaigns to the point of unhealthiness?  Body image is complex and everyone has different experiences, but we need to remember that Barbie and Miss America are not the only issues here.  There just may be more to it.

A Respons to "Why My Kids Are Not the Center of My World"

I don't usually do things like this.  I decided several years ago that arguing on the internet is a waste of time and breath, but after a discussion in a class about a blog post that was circulating and then seeing it show up in my own newsfeed and reading it for myself, I just can't say nothing.  You can read the original post by a young mom here.  In the original post, this particular mom writes about how frustrated she is with what she calls "modern parents."  She makes some good points about raising independent children who can solve problems and entertain themselves, which I agree are valuable things.  However, there are two main points that I take real issue with.  Bullying.  And violence.

First, bullying.  The writer posts about how in her day, bullying was shoving kids against a locker and taking their lunch money.  She expressed how she feels like victims of bullying are given too much attention and empathy.  That their feelings are too validated.  That we need kids that can take it.  I feel that this author may have a misunderstanding of modern bullying.  She is right.  Bullying has changed a lot since the days of shoving, punching, and teasing that we all remember from out youths.  When I was young, if someone was being mean to me at school, I could escape that when I went home.  I could avoid the bully at school and get some reprieve.  Now, bullying is following kids in every aspect of their lives.  We have to remember that we did not grow up with social media.  For anyone in their late twenties/early thirties and older, we did not have access to social media until college or maybe later.  Back in the day when you needed a .edu email address to get on the illustrious Facebook.  Now, kids are fully engaged in social media interactions with each other all the time.  Sometimes, they can even post anonymously to someone else.  This is modern bullying.  Slamming a classmate on every social media site they engage in, constantly.  Often, they are saying things to each other on the internet that they would never say to someone's face.  The internet has dehumanized bullying where kids are detached from the concept of the things they say actually be toward another person.  And the bully is not just one or two mean kids.  The bully is a mob of kids that jump on a bandwagon to anonymously blast someone with hateful things.  Bullying has changed a lot over the last ten years.

I feel that modern bullying requires modern parenting.  My husband and I often sit and think about what it means to raise children in the age of technology and social media.  We talk about how we can monitor our children's activity online without being overbearing or unfair.  We talk about when we feel it is appropriate for our children to engage in social media.  We try to stay up to date about what the popular sites are so we know where I kids are going to want to go.  I feel like we also need to create an environment that promotes openness and communication.  I want my kids to feel safe coming to me if they are being bullied.  Not so I can get the bully, but so I can support my child.  Bullying hurts and telling the victim of bullying to suck it up is just wrong.  What we need to be doing as modern parents is to raise kids that are empathetic and responsible.  We need our children to understand that what they say online matters, it can hurt people, even if it is anonymous.  We also need to raise kids who will not be bystanders.  We need our children to stand up to bullying and point it out when they see it.  Bullying is an epidemic.  Only us "modern parents" can stop it.  We have to.

The other point she makes in her blog that I have a hard time with is her idea that rules against bringing toy weapons to school are somehow stifling her boys' ability to be boys.  I get it.  I worked in a preschool.  I have been around plenty of little boys and they do seem to be able to make a gun out of everything, but I feel strongly about encouraging them to find other ways to play.  Boys are not born thinking that they need to play guns.  Boys learn to play guns by watching their peers play guns or seeing violence on television.  As the mother of a little boy, I am sure that he will play guns, because he will see other boys playing guns.  I intend to enforce rules like "we never pretend to shoot people."  Why not use that tendency to teach basic gun safety rules like never pointing a gun at a person, even if you are not shooting it?  I will not buy my child toy guns because guns are not toys.  Guns are to be taken seriously and treated with respect.  My son can practice shooting his finger at targets instead of people.  We see stories on the news every day about gun violence and accidents that happen when children get ahold of real guns and treat them like toy guns.  Perhaps if some "modern parents" can raise children that respect guns, we can help decrease some of the accidents that show up in the news every year.  Not a guarantee, just a thought.

I know that the original post was written with good intentions.  Everyone parents in a way that is a good fit for their family and their values.  I just couldn't let it be the only word.  Modern issues call for modern parenting.  It isn't about entitlement or raising kids that can't be capable adults.  It's about preparing kids for the world that they live in and the truth is, that is a very different world than we lived in, so we have to adjust. 

We Made It! A Year in Review

Well, we survived.  Our little man just turned one and we (and he) lived to tell the tale.  I really feel like the first year is all about survival.  This year I learned how to survive on less sleep than I have ever thought possible, how to change the diaper of the wiggliest boy on the planet (you may say yours is wigglier, but I beg to differ.  I learned how to survive sticking my hands in the toilet to clean out countless diapers and how to clean up the biggest puddles of spit-up I have ever seen.  We survived car trips with a crying child in the back seat and "we forgot the binky" meltdowns.  Don't get me wrong, this year has been so much fun!  My husband and I often sit and wonder what we did all the time before we had Caedmon.  But as we move into toddlerhood, which I am sure will be a whole new kind of survival, I feel the need to reflect on the past year, especially the things I think we did right and the things I think we could have done better.  Everyone wants to know how to be the perfect parent these days, I was not the exception, and I was so far from it, but there are the things I would do the same next time and things I would try to do differently. 

First, the things I think we did right.  I have learned that there is no universal right or wrong in parenting.  Every family is different and parents have to parent in a way that makes sense for their family.  Our family is busy!  I think that many of our parenting choices reflect that.  It also depends on what you value as far as characteristics for children.  We tend to place a lot of emphasis on independence in our family.  Anyway, the number 1 best thing I think we did was always have Caedmon sleep in his own bed in his own room.  We really wanted him to be able to fall asleep on his own in his own space.  I am also glad we did this because we learned pretty quickly that he did not like transitions, so eliminating the need to transition him to his own bed was nice. 

The other thing I think we did right was include Caedmon is as much life as possible.  Yes, it would have been easier to take that trip or go to that event without a baby in tow, but doing things together as a family was so much fun.  I hope that we can continue to provide him with all sorts of experiences and adventures, because what is life without a little adventure, right?

Now, here are some of the things I learned:

1) Knowledge is not always power.
        Since I am studying School Psychology, I know a lot about typical child development.  I really feel like this was more often a curse rather than a blessing.  Every time he didn't meet a milestone exactly on time or at the same rate of his peers, I began analyzing what was holding him back and fretting that he was falling behind.  At different points during the year, I was sure that he was never going to sleep through the night, roll over, eat table food, speak consonants, and probably several other things that were so silly that I can't even remember them.  What I have learned is really a reinforcement of how averages really are averages with some earlier and some later.  I also learned that my child tends to go from 0 to 90 when it comes to skills and most likely will begin a new skill and master it within a short time when he makes up his mind to do it.

2) Keeping calm is often hard, but often best.
       Earlier I wrote a post about the parent I want to be and painted a picture of the cool and collected parents that I admire and aspire to be like.  I have reverted many times over the past year, but I feel like I am starting to make some progress.  Both my husband and I have watched our son escalate as we do and we both lose it sometimes.  It always goes more smoothly if we stay calm, even though that is never the easy thing to do.  Always.

3) Nothing is easy.
       There are many people who tend to classify babies as either "easy" or "hard/difficult."  I have been one of those people and prayed with all my might while I was pregnant that I would get an easy one.  I defined an easy baby as one that slept through the night by 8 weeks, didn't cry unless they were hungry, wet, or tired, and met every developmental milestone on time.  Well, my baby didn't sleep through the night until he was 10 months and that wasn't even what first comes to mind when I think of why I would say he was difficult.  Saying nothing is easy is ironic for me because we used the Baby Whisperer book as a guide for getting him on a schedule and she describes the parts of the routine using the acronym EASY (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You-time).  As a rough guide, it worked pretty well for us.  We accomplished my main goals of not getting him in the habit of eating to fall asleep and keeping him from mixing up days and nights.  But, some things just did not work for us, which turns out, was fine.  We have had many struggles with Caedmon, as I am sure now that all parents have.  I figured out that there are always hard things and easy things about every baby.  I also learned that people should not assume that a baby that is usually happy is not always an easy baby to parent.  There are other hard things than grumpiness. 

Overall, it has been a great year and I look forward to what this next year will bring.  Watching a child grow and learn has been so much fun.  It felt like a crazy whirlwind, but I never wanted to get off.

Sweet Little Baby Knitting

Finally, a post about knitting.  I say finally because I have not had much time to knit lately, but I love it and am so glad I was able to finish up a project to write about.  Some dear friends of ours just had a beautiful baby girl.  They wanted to do newborn photos and asked if I would make a matching diaper cover and hat ensemble for the event. 

I found two great patterns on ravelry.com.  Pretty much the bees knees when it comes to knitting patterns.  They also have crochet and loom knitting patterns.  All it requires is an email address and you are ready to go! 

Here is what I made:

The patterns were pretty straight forward.  The pattern for the diaper cover can be found here.  I made this in the size suggested for newborn babies and it was still kind of big.  I would size it down by one or two multiples of 8 (8 or 16 stitches) if I were to make it for a newborn again.  I would also probably decrease all the lengths by 1/2 and inch for proportion.  I say this with a disclaimer; I tend to always need to size down patterns.  I don't know if I knit loosely or tend to stretch the yarn a lot or what, but everything I make seems to come out bigger than it should.  I also decided that I wanted the diaper cover part to be a different color from the main skirt part.  Changing colors was simple and I simply just switched when the pattern called for separating the stitches for the skirt out.  My last word to the wise on the skirt/diaper cover, use circular needles.  I tend to choose double points for circulars for knitting small things because I hate having to deal with a long cord.  That does not work for this pattern because when you separate out the stitches to make the little diaper cover, you essentially end up with 8 live needles when you are using double points.  That is crazy and results in a lot of dropped stitches (and for me, the need to start over).  Circulars are the best bet for this pattern for sure.

The hat pattern can be found here.  There are several things that I love about this hat.  First is that it is adorable and knitted up to be a good shape for a little baby head.  I also love that it uses a button because I love buttons and you can find so many cool ones.  The flower slips over the button; therefore, there is potential to make multiple flowers in different colors and it will go with anything.  The last thing I love is that the pattern goes all the way up to adult so I may be making her mommy a matching hat for winter.  How cute is that?

Of course you want to see it on the sweet baby, so here she is:

I love knitting for babies because their stuff is always so cute.  Plus baby things are small so it keeps projects quick and manageable.  Nothing is sweeter than a sweet baby wearing something I made.

Breast or Bottle - Some Myths Investigated

First, a few disclaimers, since I have found in my research that any blog/article that says anything other than "all babies should be breastfed as long as possible" is met with quite a bit of criticism.  I am not anti-breastfeeding.  I think if it is working well and is right for your family, do it.  There is literally no research saying that breastfeeding is bad, and I don't think it is bad either.  Also, know that I was unable to breastfeed, hence why I started researching the truth behind breastfeeding research.  My kiddo is happy, smart, and healthy and has always been fed formula.

Now, I feel like in today's world there is such a large push for breastfeeding that it leaves mothers who are unable  or choose not to breastfeed with intense guilt that they are not doing what is best for their baby.  Even some hospitals are creating policy's where women are not given the choice to feed their infants formula.  So, I wanted to look into some of the things I read and heard while pregnant about breastfeeding superiority and determine how much truth there was to the ideals.

Myth number 1:  ALL women can breastfeed. 

Many books and classes tend to lead you to believe that with enough practice or the perfect lactation consultant, that all women can breastfeed.  There is a general consensus among researchers that approximately 5% of women are physiologically unable to breastfeed.  Some of those women do not produce enough milk (10% in one study needed help producing, and with help 5% were still unsuccessful).  Some of those women have breasts that are not well designed for breastfeeding or infants whose mouth size or shape inhibits proper latch.  Bottom line, not everyone can breastfeed and if you can't, it is so much harder to be told that you can with enough work.

Myth number 2:  Breastfeeding makes for smarter kids.

This is a myth not because it isn't true, but because it is exaggerated.  It seemed like everything I read talked about the vast cognitive gains of breastfed babies.  Being in the business of caring about cognition, it grabbed me.  Who doesn't want a smarter kid?  Here the real stats that I gathered from several studies including two meta-analyses (studies that compare studies).  In many (and I mean many) studies, the statistics are not controlled for other factors that we know increase academic/cognitive outcomes.  Families that breastfeed also tend to have above average income, two parents, and higher parental education.  Mothers who breastfeed are usually older and are less likely to smoke or ingest any other dangerous substance during pregnancy.  Babies who are breastfed are often higher in birth weight and frequently first children are breastfed longer.  All of these factors alone have also accounted for academic gains.  Studies that don't control for these factors report gains of 5.32 point which is the equivalent of having a 100 vs 105 IQ.  Both are average and differences would not be noticeable without testing.  When you control for these factors, the gains drop to 3.16 points (100 vs 103).  An even smaller difference.  While there are gains that are technically statistically significant, they are just not significant in practice.  If I put a child with a 100 and a 103 IQ in a room and asked them to solve a puzzle, there would not be a difference in the speed or accuracy they solved it.  That difference is within the margin of error on most IQ tests, meaning that if I tested the same child twice, I could get a 100 one time and a 103 the next time.  There is a difference, but it is not as grand as I was led to believe.

While there are myths, there are also truths.  First, breastfeeding is cheaper.  After formula feeding for almost a year now, there is no doubt in my mind that breastfeeding is cheaper, even after considering the cost of a pump and storage supplies.  Man, formula is expensive.  There is also significant proof that breastfeeding decreases gastrointestinal infection rates; however, my formula fed kiddo has never had any major GI issues.  The bottom line for me it that breastfeeding is a choice.  Like many choices parents make (diapers, toys, sleeping arrangements) it is a personal one.  Formula is a valid choice and you are not doing your baby a great mis-service by making it.  Do I think we need to be okay with women breastfeeding in public? Yes.  Do I think that we need to provide support to women who want to breastfeed in the hospital through lactation consultants?  Yes.  But do I think you are not a good mother or not trying hard enough if you can't or choose not to breastfeed?  No.  You have to decide what is best for you, your baby, and your family.

There is another great article about this kind of thing here.

Also, here links to a couple of the studies I mentioned: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/101/1/e9.short
http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/70/4/525.short

Traveling with a VERY Busy Boy

Okay- So, I may not be an expert, but after flying/hotel staying with Caedmon twice before the age of one, I would say I have gained some insight into traveling with an infant.  The first time we fly, he was 7 months old.  He was not mobile yet, but full of energy.  The second time, he was almost 10 months old, fully mobile, busy, and loud.  Here are some tips with some fun anecdotes from our travels mixed in.

1.  Make flying sound like something fun.  A lot of kids get scared on planes, little and big alike.  We told Caedmon how exciting flying was and how much fun it would be.  We tried to explain everything from going through security to finding our seat.  I know it seems silly to think that a baby needs this, but they understand more than most people think and take cues from their parents how to react to new things.  If we were excited, he was more likely to be excited.

 

2.  Hope for sleep, but be prepared for play.  On our first flight, as soon as the engines clicked on, he was out.  It was amazing.  However, when we fly again when he was older, we could forget about sleep.  We spent the first 15 minutes of each flight with him crawling from one lap to the other.  We let him work out some energy, then we encouraged him to calm down and play with something.  I had a backpack full of his favorite (quiet) toys.  We also found that empty cups from the flight attendant made great toys!  Skymall was the victim of crumpling and tearing, but who needs a cat toilet training set anyway! 

 

3.  Logistics! TSA issues:  Some airlines (I think it supposed to be all, but Southwest asked and Delta did not) require you to provide proof of age for lap children.  This could be either a copy of a birth certificate or a shot record.  Also, you are allowed to bring any liquids you need for your child for the entire time you are traveling.  This includes, formula/breast milk, jar food, juice, diaper cream, and anything else that your child needs to be comfortable for the flight.  You may be asked to take it all out for inspection, so don't stash is somewhere where it will be hard to get it out.  Also, two lap children cannot sit in the same row on an airplane so if you see another baby and think, "hey, maybe they will play together," you cannot sit in that row.

 

4.  Swallow your pride.  When you walk on a plane with a baby, people look at you like you have the plague.  Just do your best to keep your baby quiet, but remember that he or she is a baby and you bought your tickets just like everyone else.  I was also quite surprised at the number of people who said, "I have been there."  A lot of people understand so don't let the few who don't bring you down.

 

5.  Always check with hotels about whether or not they have cribs.  We quickly found when we started calling that not all do.  We did not want to bring along a pack-n-play so we wanted a hotel with a crib.  You can also reserve one so you know they won't be out when you arrive. 

 

6.  Pack smart.  There is a fine line between over packing and under packing when it comes to babies.  For the first trip, we over packed.  Our kiddo is a notorious spit-up kid and he was getting over a cold, increasing the chances of spit-up.  We packed way too many clothes.  For the second trip, I feel like we slightly under packed.  I was expecting a cooler climate than we went into and I did not pack enough light clothes and I felt like we were grasping at straws by the end (taking him back to the reception after the 3rd wardrobe change in a jammie shirt and diaper).  Know your kid and pack according to about how much clothes you go through at home plus a couple extra.  Pack for all possible weather conditions, but pack layers to each piece can serve multiple functions.

 

7.  Try your best to keep the schedule you baby is used to.  Sometimes this just can't happen when you are away, but I feel like we avoid many melt-downs if we try to keep things as normal as possible for him.

 

8.  Last one: Buy some stuff there.  We did not do this the first time but did the second time and it was great!  Pretty much everywhere has a Babies R Us or Walmart so pack what you need for the plane and buy the rest there.  It makes everyone's luggage lighter and you don't have to worry about baby food jars getting broken when you check them.

 

Happy travels!  Remember, have fun!

Baby Stuff: My Top 5 and Bottom 5

I have seen countless versions of these lists all over Pinterest and the interweb.  Some I agree with and some I do not.  After all, every baby is different and every family is different, so we all have different needs.  That being said, I felt compelled to share what have been the top 5 and bottom 5 items that we bought pre-baby.  Since all families are different, here is the basics of ours:

• We cloth diaper.  We use g diapers and LOVE them!  Cloth diapering means that I do not throw away diapers (duh!) and I do a LOT of laundry.  
• We were unable to breast feed.  We tried and just could not get the hang of it.  I decided the emotional toll of feeling like I was starving my baby outweighed the possible benefits if we could have gotten the hang of it and switched to formula by the time we had been home for 2 weeks.
• We are VERY busy people and on the go a lot of the time.  Convenience rules in this house.
• My child has always had a need to have "alone" independent time during the day where he can play alone without being held or cooed at.

Now that you know a bit about our dynamic, here is the top 5 items that we had that we use the most, have been life savers, or are simply items that I have never looked at and said, "Eh, we could have done without that.

     5.  The number 5 item on my list is a tub-side seat for parents.

        Kneeling on tile hurts.  That is all.  We have a padded kneeling pad as well which you can see in the corner and that I use when I am washing and need to lean over pretty far, but for playtime, the seat is the best!  It also serves as my seat for rinsing out cloth diapers in the toilet.  Toilets are low to the ground relatively.  A fact I quickly realized as I washed out 5 diapers in a row from a day at daycare or an outing.  This seat has saved my back, knees, and sanity many times as I clean yet another poopy diaper or as I watch my kiddo play and splash joyfully in the tub.

     4.  Number 4 goes to items that facilitate independent play at different stages.

        As I said, my kiddo has always enjoyed playing by himself.  Even as a little bitty guy, he craved alone time (his Daddy's boy).  Having toys that fostered that need and accommodated him at different stages of development were very important.  The first is an activity mat.  We could hang toys from it and switch them out to keep it interesting.  He would lay on it and play with those toys for up to a half hour to 45 minutes.  Yes, I had a 6 week old that would play by himself for 45 minutes.  For those with kiddos that would not allow being put down, this next phrase will sound crazy, but we all want balance right?  Sometimes, I wish I had a cuddlier baby.  He just isn't the type to sit on my lap and snuggle up.  He want to explore his environment on his own, but he checks in every now and then to make sure I am still here. 
        The second picture is a jumper.  We opted for the jumper over the saucer because they just look like more fun.  The box said 4 months and up.  We started using it at 3 months and just stuffed blankets behind him to keep him from falling over.  He just wanted to be up so bad.  He has loved this jumper since then.  He is 8 and a half months now and can still use it (longevity) but does not want to be in it as long now that he can crawl.  He doesn't want to be trapped.
        The last item is an activity table.  He played with it on the floor for the longest time,  but now that he is a pulling up pro, he stands at it and plays all of the songs, scratches like a DJ, and pounds the drum with any toy he can find.  This is his current favorite independent play item for sure!

     3.  Okay, I know that last one was kind of cheating since it was a 3 in 1, but they are all related.  Number 3 is our water kettle.

        So this is one of those items that my breast feeding friends would not need, but it was key for us.  It is a kettle that plugs in and keeps water at a perfect 98 degrees for bottle making.  We never have to wait for a bottle to warm up or try to get tap water to a good temperature.  Also, when he was still night feeding we would take it up stairs and plug it in so that we would not have to go downstairs to make a bottle in the middle of the night.  We use it to fill a thermos that we put in the diaper bag when we go out so we have warm water on the go.  I also use it to make oatmeal for his breakfast.  This is purely a convenience item, but sure has it been great!  Totally worth losing the bit of counter space that it takes up.

     2.  The number 2 item on my list is our swing. 

        I can hear you already..."My kid HATED the swing!"  Mine did not.  He loves to swing.  We have not been using it lately because he does not want to be confined, but we have used the heck out of this thing.  When he was itty bitty and would not nap, the swing would save us.  He also loved watching the mobile and would sometimes just hang out and watch the little birdies go around and around.  Sometimes he just needed a low stimulation break and the swing would help him calm down.  Sometimes he hung out in there so I could go to the bathroom.  The one we picked could lay down or sit up and swing side to side or back and forth.  The versatility was nice, not going to lie.  It also plugged in so we did not have to go through countless batteries.  It was great and I do not know what we would have done without it sometimes.

     1.  And the number one thing in our house is the crib hanging music/white noise machine thing...(I don't know what to call it)

        This thing can light up and play music or be dark and play ocean sounds or any combination thereof.  My kid loves watching the fish swim and hearing the music and he has fallen asleep to the ocean sound since day 1.  I am a big believer in white noise of some kind.  It has been essential in our short life with a baby (and helped my 7 month old fall asleep instantly on airplanes).  This little box has been our snooze button (when he wakes up at 6 and I just need a few more minutes to get myself into mommy mode), it has been our middle of the night go back to sleep machine, our entertainment while I go downstairs to make a bottle after bath, our distraction while I cut toenails or put on jammies.  I am glad we use rechargeable batteries or I would feel very guilty about the amount of batteries gone through for this little guy.  It is the single best purchase we made (or someone made on our behalf from our registry, rather). 

Now for my bottom 5. 

     5.  A TON of crib sheets and hooded towels and blankets.  I did not take a picture because we all know what these things are.  They are the things that everyone tells you that you can't have too many of.  I am here to tell you, you can.  Babies make a lot of laundry.  Cloth diapering gives that laundry a since of urgency (so you don't run out of clean diapers).  I do laundry at least every other day.  That means that I can have 3 of any one thing and always have one clean.  When Caedmon was little bitty and stayed in one spot in his bed and sometime spit up at night or during nap (or always in our case) we used the sheet saver pads so we didn't have to change his sheet 15 times a day.  I rotate through 2 or 3 crib sheets and probably have 7 or 8.  Same goes for hooded towels.  I rotate through 3, don't wash them after every bath (after all, do we wash out towels after every use?).  I have probably 8 hooded towels, most of which have never been used.  We were not the kind of parents that wrapped receiving blankets around our baby (we used Velcro swaddle blankets which barely missed the top 5 list.  Amazing things.  Seriously).  So I did not use many of the blankets we were given.  I had a couple favorites that I used in the carseat and now at night, but there are several light weight receiving blankets that never saw the light of day from the bottom of the blanket bin.

     4.  Number 4 is the Bumbo.

        I was convinced that I HAD to have this before Caedmon was born because we used them at the daycare I had worked at and they were great.  Little did I know how much my kid would hate being put in it.  His desire to play upright before he could sit independently was outweighed by some strong aversion to the Bumbo seat.  He started sitting alone at 5 months and was perfectly happy risking the occasional topple rather than be in the seat.  He just was not a fan.

     3.  Coming in 3rd is the bouncy seat.

        We just did not use this very much.  The only time it saw much use was when Caedmon was small and I could put him in it to grab a shower.  He quickly grew bored of it and never really appeared to be super comfy in it.  He would prefer to just lay on the floor with his activity mat toys.  It now serves as the "toybox" for Mom and Dad's room.  Not it's intended purpose.

     2.  Pre-baby purchased pacifiers are number 2.

        Don't get me wrong, my baby is a binky loving baby; however, he did not love the pacifiers I picked for him before he arrived.  I picked the ones that were the same brand as our bottles and were supposed to be good for mouth development and a couple cute ones.  Little did I know that the only pacifier my kid would take would be the plain jane green soothies that they hand out at the hospital.  This is one of those things I would not recommend stocking up on until you get to know your kiddo.  Maybe but one or two of a couple different brands to try and go from there. 

     1.  And the number 1 (both in least of amount of use and most money spent) is breast feeding supplies.

  

        Now, let me say, if I had been able to breast feed, I would have needed these things; however, I wish I had waited to purchase them until I was certain that breast feeding was going to work.  No one needs these things the day the baby is born.  The hospital can provide samples of lanoline and breast pads.  The pump and cover could have waited.  All of these things ended up in a box untouched (or mostly untouched).  Again, I am not trying to be a pessimist, but the reality is that breast feeding does not work for everyone, despite what people say these days.  If you are breast feeding well, send that good husband to the local baby store to get the need supplies.  It can wait.  Mine sit in my closet reminding me that I had to give up.

That's it folks.  My list.  Every family is different, but this is what proved important and unimportant for us.  Comment with what is important or unimportant for you.  I am also sure that some of things will change for us when we decide to have another baby, because they are all different.